The first time you were accused of rape, I was willing to kinda give you the benefit of the doubt. You sounded so righteously indignant. The alleged victim had filed suit in civil court, instead of reporting the whole thing to the authorities.
But a second rape allegation? Listen, buddy, even if you didn't do it, it's a wake up call. Maybe you don't know jack about women. Maybe you don't know enough about the seedier side of human nature. Or maybe you don't know what "no" looks like.
So let's review a few things so you don't get a third rape accusation lobbed at you.
1) The drunk cannot consent to sex. So if she's inebriated, it doesn't mean she's good to go anywhere other than a cab ride home. Alone. Get her digits if you actually liked her, and call her the next day. She'll appreciate the gentlemanly gesture.
2) A girl's clothing is not an invitation for sex. You know what is an invitation to sex? An adult, sober woman saying, "I'd like to have sex with you," or some variation thereof.
3) "No" doesn't mean "I'd make an exception for you, you famous NFL quarterback."
4) Say the lady is good to go, sober, and is ripping your button-fly jeans open with her teeth. While she's busy, think for a minute, "What kind of woman is this? Would she want my synaptically challenged brain stem if I drove a front-loader instead of playing for the Steelers?" If the answer to the latter is no, well, chances are she may try to shake you down later, either by saying you raped her, consulting with a tabloid, or the time-honored way of permanently getting money from a professional athlete: Having unprotected sex so she can get knocked up and have an 18 year payment plan.
5) Only have threesomes, and check ID's at the door. That way you have a witness.
I hope my tips help you in some way avoid a third rape allegation.
Sincerely,
Me
