The Eleventy Billionth Blog

Live Blogging American Idol: The Audition Edition, Part 1

First, I need to say this: Ralph Macchio wants his head scarf back, Posh. Also, please answer the age-old question: Are you really asking what I think you're asking when, in the Spice Girls work of art, "If You Wanna Be My Lover," you say, "If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends?" 

And if so, really? 

Now, the first bit of cannon fodder. I have already blocked her name out, but Kara is head bobbing. And Simon is trying to not eat his pen and contemplating jumping out the window. And she thinks Kara is Paula. And she wins the American Idol Wii game ALL THE TIME. So she's a shoo in. Jenny. It's a no.

They're all saying no. And then she cusses. 

Also, yes. I am 57 minutes behind if you're on the CST. But through the magic of DVR, I can now fast forward through commercials. And I'm still prescient if you're in Denver. And I'm completely psychic if you're in California.

Now we're on to Maddy. She's the 50th child in a a family of 72 children. Or something. I dunno. I just wanna get through the inevitable caterwauling. All of her brothers look like Trig Palin. And they adopted them all. Or most of them. And then she cried. 

She's 16. And she's gushing. She's gonna go with "Hallelujah," by Leonard Cohen. So far, she's not sucking. But again, my benchmark is Jenny. Kara's either got gas or she likes it. Posh hasn't blinked. I'm not entirely convinced this isn't just on loan from Madam Toussad's. Randy said he thought she'd suck, but she didn't. Posh like's that she's nervous. Kara says, "Blah blah blah heart whatever whatever, look at my boobs." And Simon says she's totally not annoying for a 16 year old. But she's going to whatever. Hollywood. Yes. Hollywood.

Some guy is bitching that he has to wait for an audition. Clearly, he needs to be punched. And there's some kid that is going to be eviscerated by Simon. 

Pat Ford is about to die. That is all. Seriously. Kara is dancing, and Simon is displeased. He's singing "Womanizer." He thinks he did awesome. And he thinks Simon is even "sassier in person than he is on TV."

Because History Isn't Important, Right?

 

Not many people know, but Dallas is kind of fond of tearing buildings down. Some of them are crapholes, and should be torn down. Seriously. 

Others, however, are allowed to become crapholes, and are demolished by neglect. And one currently being allowed to decay is a place that should - by all accounts - have earned a safe distinction by merit of its importance in music history.

The place is 508 Park Avenue, and it is one of the few places where the legendary, enigmatic bluesman Robert Johnson recorded. This building is listed on the National Registry of Historic Places, and was once a film storage facility for Warner Brothers as well. You can see excellent photos by Justin Terveen here - he also provided the one you see above.

Currently, according to the Dallas Observer, the current owners, Colby Properties - and it's subsidiary Glazer's Distributors, have been denied approval to tear it down. But this is Dallas, and it's really only a matter of time before we wake up one morning, drive downtown, and find it a heap of rubble. 

It's not like it hasn't happened before to historically significant places. 

Colby Properties claims nobody wants to buy the property as is, and blames two nearby facilities that offer services to the homeless. Having driven through the area, I can say that stopping your vehicle will result in some walk up panhandling. But you know what? So does stopping at the intersection of the LBJ service road and Marsh. 

But fine. The current owners say it's not good for commercial development. Will tearing it down magically remove the homeless? No. You'd still end up with a fancy-schmancy mixed use thingamagig with homeless people around it. Only this time, you will have also sunk in some money to demolish the structure, and to rebuild an even more useless building.

So sell it. Sell it to someone who appreciates it, and will work within the perceived limitations of the area. 

There are very few pieces of Robert Johnson's life that can be documented, very few places where you can stand where he stood. For many, that is a huge, huge thing. 

Have you ever wondered if perhaps some of Dallas' reputation as a collective of soulless, vapid bastards has to do with the fact that we are/have been wholly disinterested in the care and maintenance of our history? 

It's been said that you can't have a future without history, and yet we continually tear down the most interesting parts of the city's cultural story. There's more to Dallas than big hair, big boobs, and dead presidents.

This building was the site of some serious musical wizardry, and yet it seems to be OK to tear it down. Where is the pissed offness about this? Robert freakin Johnson recorded here. For a few days, a musical genius that still influences people we now consider to be legends spent time in Dallas. 

It should give people chills, not a legal battle and a love affair with a wrecking ball.

So I say this: Mobilize. If Colby Properties finds the building useless, convince them to sell it to someone who will, perhaps, turn it into something that celebrates either Dallas' history, or rock's genesis, or both. 

There is continued, small interest in what happens to this building. Could it possibly become a larger, wider interest that sways the current owners to do something other than tear it down or let it fall apart? Possibly. 

But we're going to have to work together, and we're going to have to voice an opinion. You can start by e-mailing, writing and calling the following places, and by forwarding and linking to this post.

Current owners: Glazer's Distributors, 14811 Quorum Drive, Ste. 400, Dallas, TX 75254. Phone: 972-392-8200. Fax: 972-702-8508.

Dallas City Plan Commission (where Glazer will appeal next).