The Eleventy Billionth Blog

Be Careful What You Wish For

Dear Avi Adelman:

I get it. I do. I mean, not two blocks away from my house is this group of people that like to throw house parties on Sunday night and do karaoke into a bullhorn. I know it can be annoying. 

But Lower Greenville? Been there a while. Before you. And as much as it chaps your video camera-lovin' hide, it'll be there after you leave, despite your best efforts. 

Yes, there are some clubs and restaurants that have not been good neighbors. And you were probably right to try to limit parking to residents, because I know what a pain the ass it can be to drive around your own block five times to find a parking space near your own house. 

But seriously. Mission accomplished. Quit doing a Pan dance every time something happens you think will bring about the complete and total decimation of Lower Greenville. In this economy, what do you think will move in there to replace all that stuff?

Your Thursday Moment of Zen

So...

If Texas had eyes enough for all the blackening it deserves, surely one of those myriad swollen and discolored orbits would be its lengthy and greedy love affair with capital punishment.

So far, between 1982 and 2009, 440 people have been put to death. So far, 17 this year (we peaked at 40 in 2000). And the Dallas Morning News has done a pretty good job this year of detailing some of the more worrisome recent issues - like Charles Dean Hood, who lost an appeal based on the fact that the judge trying his case was schtupping a DA. 

Now, Hood may very well - and evidence certainly is damning - have murdered two people in Plano. But guilty or not, he deserved to be tried by a judge who wasn't entangled - emotionally and physically - with the person prosecuting him. If nothing else, the family of his victims deserved it as well, because there will now always be people doubting his conviction - and using him as a case study in why Texas can't try death penalty cases because it's a bastion of bloodthirsty bastards.

And they will, in the same breath as these three troubling cases.  And that doesn't even count the many, many non-death penalty cases that were found to be wrongful convictions.

And I know people feel that for some scum-sucking, bottom feeding reprobates, death is the only just and fit punishment. And sure, I can see that.

But if we're gonna off 400 people, we need to do it right. So this is what I propose:

• An independent panel that automatically reviews all evidence and testimony within weeks of the set execution date. This panel will be comprised of forensic scientists, police, prosecutors, and defense attorneys, and their sole job will be to make sure that there were no improprieties, no ignored evidence, no questionable eye witness accounts.
• Power to grant reprieves and sentence commuting will be taken from the governor, and given to the aforementioned panel.
• And, more radically, we quit giving rights to these absolutely guilty folk that they didn't afford their victims. Did his victim know the day he was going to die? Did he get to pick a last meal? Did he get to talk to a priest and his family? No. So why do they get all that? If you raped a little girl and then choked her to death, well, expect to wake up one day in your cell with someone much, much larger than you, doing the very same thing.

Oh, is that last one wrong? I thought putting people to death was all about justice? If we're truly going to be just, don't we need to make it equal across the board? If we're doing that whole eye for an eye thing, that last scenario is the only way to do it, right?

No? Hmmm. Maybe this whole death penalty thing is not such a great idea, after all.

Live Blogging the Cowboys: The Gah! I'm Up Edition

And we're off. Great return by Felix Jones for 36 yards. I'd also like to say that Frank Caliendo is not funny.

Dear Fox Sports:

Frank Caliendo is lame. He's not funny. And he doesn't even do a passable impression of John Madden, who is possibly the easiest person in sports broadcasting to do an impression of. And impressions are what a comedian does when they're not smart enough and cool enough to write their own material. Frank Caliendo sucks because this is his entire act, and he's not even good at at it.

Love,

Me

OMG ... I Totally See What the Fuss Is About

I must beg forgiveness for those I questioned earlier. Clearly, this is the exact kind of socialist claptrap we do not want in our schools.

Prepared Remarks of President Barack Obama

Back to School Event

Arlington, Virginia
September 8, 2009

 

The President: Hello everyone – how’s everybody doing today? I’m here with students at Wakefield High School in Arlington, Virginia. And we’ve got students tuning in from all across America, kindergarten through twelfth grade. I’m glad you all could join us today.

See What Happens When It's Civil?

Now It's Just Getting Ridiculous

A buddy in the blogosphere just nudged me and asked why I hadn't posted anything about the newest proverbial twist in America's knickers - Obama's planned live address to students on Sept. 8.

In truth, it has a lot to do with the fact that I've been trying to adequately put the many opinions I have on this into succinct, mostly G-rated language. I'm a little irritated at the Obama camp, and I'm a lot irritated by the knee-jerkedness that passes for civil discourse lately.

So I'll just number this stuff. I can't possibly put it in an order of importance, so I'll just start from the top of my head, and go from there.

1. Massive fail on the White House for not realizing and factoring in the political temperature before posting up those lesson plans. While I doubt seriously indoctrination (more on that in a sec) was the intent, those who are still convinced he's some loony African Muslin Hitler Socialist Bogeyman were rewarded with wording that sounded like it. So oy. Fail. Way to check and see if that was a puddle of water or a puddle of gasoline you were standing in before throwing the lit match on the ground.
2. There are a few - I know one, for certain - that wouldn't be happy with any president addressing a roomful of school children - even if it were, in his words, "zombie Milton Friedman." But the rest of you? Step back, and honestly ask yourself, "Would I be riled up about the wording on that stuff if it was President Bush?" Chances are, the answers - if people are honest with themselves - would be, "no." And as many have pointed out - George W. Bush was in a classroom when two planes guided themselves into the World Trade Center towers. Presidents have been addressing students either remotely or in person for years. This is nothing new.
3. Nobody should indoctrinate a child - President or parent.  They are small humans, and aside from a primer on respecting other people and their property, our jobs are to make sure they becoming thinking individuals capable of making decisions on their own. Are you afraid of your child being indoctrinated in a 30-minute live speech from the President, or are you afraid that your own indoctrination didn't "take?" How on earth can you be proud of your child's decision or decision-making process if the child is shielded all the time? Is it really a point of pride if he or she parrots whatever you say? Why not let your child watch it, you watch it, and then after school, discuss it? What exactly are you afraid of?  If anything, you get to find out how your kid thinks. At best, it's a smorgasbord of parent-child discussion potential, up to and including the point that in America, people can voice the fact that they disagree with the President, and nothing bad happens to them - and then compare and contrast with other countries.

Because History Isn't Important, Right?

 

Not many people know, but Dallas is kind of fond of tearing buildings down. Some of them are crapholes, and should be torn down. Seriously. 

Others, however, are allowed to become crapholes, and are demolished by neglect. And one currently being allowed to decay is a place that should - by all accounts - have earned a safe distinction by merit of its importance in music history.

The place is 508 Park Avenue, and it is one of the few places where the legendary, enigmatic bluesman Robert Johnson recorded. This building is listed on the National Registry of Historic Places, and was once a film storage facility for Warner Brothers as well. You can see excellent photos by Justin Terveen here - he also provided the one you see above.

Currently, according to the Dallas Observer, the current owners, Colby Properties - and it's subsidiary Glazer's Distributors, have been denied approval to tear it down. But this is Dallas, and it's really only a matter of time before we wake up one morning, drive downtown, and find it a heap of rubble. 

It's not like it hasn't happened before to historically significant places. 

Colby Properties claims nobody wants to buy the property as is, and blames two nearby facilities that offer services to the homeless. Having driven through the area, I can say that stopping your vehicle will result in some walk up panhandling. But you know what? So does stopping at the intersection of the LBJ service road and Marsh. 

But fine. The current owners say it's not good for commercial development. Will tearing it down magically remove the homeless? No. You'd still end up with a fancy-schmancy mixed use thingamagig with homeless people around it. Only this time, you will have also sunk in some money to demolish the structure, and to rebuild an even more useless building.

So sell it. Sell it to someone who appreciates it, and will work within the perceived limitations of the area. 

There are very few pieces of Robert Johnson's life that can be documented, very few places where you can stand where he stood. For many, that is a huge, huge thing. 

Have you ever wondered if perhaps some of Dallas' reputation as a collective of soulless, vapid bastards has to do with the fact that we are/have been wholly disinterested in the care and maintenance of our history? 

It's been said that you can't have a future without history, and yet we continually tear down the most interesting parts of the city's cultural story. There's more to Dallas than big hair, big boobs, and dead presidents.

This building was the site of some serious musical wizardry, and yet it seems to be OK to tear it down. Where is the pissed offness about this? Robert freakin Johnson recorded here. For a few days, a musical genius that still influences people we now consider to be legends spent time in Dallas. 

It should give people chills, not a legal battle and a love affair with a wrecking ball.

So I say this: Mobilize. If Colby Properties finds the building useless, convince them to sell it to someone who will, perhaps, turn it into something that celebrates either Dallas' history, or rock's genesis, or both. 

There is continued, small interest in what happens to this building. Could it possibly become a larger, wider interest that sways the current owners to do something other than tear it down or let it fall apart? Possibly. 

But we're going to have to work together, and we're going to have to voice an opinion. You can start by e-mailing, writing and calling the following places, and by forwarding and linking to this post.

Current owners: Glazer's Distributors, 14811 Quorum Drive, Ste. 400, Dallas, TX 75254. Phone: 972-392-8200. Fax: 972-702-8508.

Dallas City Plan Commission (where Glazer will appeal next).