One time, I baked muffins*. I mean, I've baked muffins plenty of times, but this one particular time, I baked one and opted to just dump everything in the bowl, skipping the crucial step of mixing the dry ingredients together first, then adding the wet ingredients.
What I got instead is misshapen hockey pucks.
I bring this up because baking muffins is an easy analogy for the political process. Primaries seem unnecessary and boring, but in reality, if you don't take part, you end up with homicidal hockey puck with good hair.
I may have mixed my metaphors there. But you get my drift.
So yesterday, people voted in the primaries. Some voted strategically, opting to vote for Kay Bailey Hutchison or Debra Medina in hopes of at least forcing a run-off against incumbent Rick Perry. Some actually like Perry. Some actually liked Hutchison. Some really liked Medina.
But my first order of business for this post is to vigorously chastise those who didn't go take care of business yesterday, who are now whining and kvetching about what is wrong with this state/how can they pick him again/he's horrible, who did this?
In short, you did this. You didn't go register your discontent with Perry. So you may shut up right now.
And don't give me some BS about being too busy. Early voting. Look into it. Get your voter registration in order before November, and drag your sorry behind to a polling place. You can vote on the weekend if you vote early. So do it. Or shush. Forever. Seriously. I'm typing this in my, "I mean business," tone.
And now for some other hijinks, which I will mine from the Dallas Observer, who has done a phenomenal job of somehow finding the ugly underbelly of area politics.
How about we start with Eric Johnson and Terri Hodge. Even though several of the old guard said he wouldn't win, that Hodge deserved to win even though she was pokey-bound, something something democratic process precinct chairs should pick someone, he won. Without kissing a ring of any kind, I assume.
So there's that. Apparently people might just be tired of what is perceived to be business as usual in that neck of the woods. Maybe they're tired of seeing their leadership investigated by the FBI and paraded in front of judges. Maybe they remembered that Eric Johnson isn't some punk that moved in to run - he's one of them.
And then there's this brouhaha with Craig Watkins' campaign. First, I want to say that I have long admired Watkins' work to exonerate those unjustly convicted of crimes in Dallas County. But the man has a notoriously thin skin and an incredibly jerky knee. To survive in politics, he's going to need some armor and something for that patella tremor.
But to whoever posted all those comments (apparently from an Internet connection belonging to Craig Watkins Attorney), lemme let you know something. IP addresses? Kinda trackable. For instance, I can frequently see who visits here. If their IP address is attached to a business, it generally shows up. So if you're gonna try to do your boss/friend/mentor/brother/son a favor, you should do it from a less traceable computer.
And you can bash Sam Merten all you want, but I would've done the same thing. Sock puppetry is dishonest, and disingenuous. If Craig Watkins had salient information for Merten, he could've e-mailed or called. But to give yourself a bunch of aliases and cast around some rumors against Watkins' Republican opponent is dirty pool, verging on what the Nixon administration charmingly called "rat fucking."
And to Craig Watkins: You can bellyache all you want about media scrutiny, but as my granny said, you must dance with the gal that brought ya. You can't court the media when you walk out of the courtroom with a newly exonerated person, but then duck them and cry that they're persecuting you when they ask you salient questions about your doings. It doesn't work that way.
And like it or not, a man who associates his name with the word integrity by beginning the Convictions Integrity Unit in his department can and will be held to a higher standard. You associate yourself with the word, expect questions when people wonder if something's off. You want to stand for integrity, so you're going to have to deal with everything that comes with it.
So readers, what surprised you or didn't surprise you about yesterday's election results? Was Sam Merten wrong to reveal that IP address? Comment, already.
*Not a euphemism. I actually mean I baked actual muffins. In an actual oven. I'm not talking about babies or sex. Muffins. Swear.