The Eleventy Billionth Blog

Timetables and Game Shows Don't Bring You Love

I tried, really hard, to keep my opinions about the Bachelor franchise to myself. So many of my friends enjoy it, that it seemed like I was taking the whole thing too seriously.

Never mind the fact that I can't comprehend a world that finds getting a mate in front of a television camera whilst dating 20 people at once an adequate homage to the sanctity of marriage, but two men or two women who have been in committed relationships for years cannot get married at all.

Let's put that aside for a minute, and instead talk about something we can definitely all agree with (I hope) - the odds of finding a lasting, happy, adult relationship are slim to none if you don't enter the process with the right mindset. Marriage is not a game show. It's not a ratings bonanza. And anyone who tries to tell you otherwise is either a pimp or an ABC producer.

Or, well, a CW33 producer, apparently. Ever hear of "Project Husband?" It's new. Lisa has the venue. Now she needs the husband. 

What? 

Aside from being a shameless gimmick to get ratings and let some Dallas-area woman pose in a tank top and have her dating life filmed, it's offensive. 

For one, why not a man? Why do we have to have a woman be the desperate one with a timeline?

And two, relationships leading to marriage need the chance to grow organically - not according to a pre-determined timeline. Some people meet, fall in love, and become certain of the status and health of their relationship quickly. Some take a little longer to be sure. But setting a specific deadline for finding a mate seems like you are dooming yourself to settling.

There are so many things that can make it hard to stay married. The economy. The rigors of childrearing. Sickness. 

Why in the Sam Hill would you add, "I had to marry him or lose my deposit" to the mix?

But the Bachelor franchise - and this outing by CW33 - wouldn't happen if there weren't viewers. Sure, you may think it's entertainment, but is it also an indicator as to why the rate for divorce is so high in this country? 

We just flat out do not value the sanctity of marriage. And if we don't, what was that argument, again, against gay marriage?

So, About Yesterday

One time, I baked muffins*. I mean, I've baked muffins plenty of times, but this one particular time, I baked one and opted to just dump everything in the bowl, skipping the crucial step of mixing the dry ingredients together first, then adding the wet ingredients.

What I got instead is misshapen hockey pucks. 

I bring this up because baking muffins is an easy analogy for the political process. Primaries seem unnecessary and boring, but in reality, if you don't take part, you end up with homicidal hockey puck with good hair. 

I may have mixed my metaphors there. But you get my drift.

So yesterday, people voted in the primaries. Some voted strategically, opting to vote for Kay Bailey Hutchison or Debra Medina in hopes of at least forcing a run-off against incumbent Rick Perry. Some actually like Perry. Some actually liked Hutchison. Some really liked Medina.

But my first order of business for this post is to vigorously chastise those who didn't go take care of business yesterday, who are now whining and kvetching about what is wrong with this state/how can they pick him again/he's horrible, who did this?

In short, you did this. You didn't go register your discontent with Perry. So you may shut up right now. 

And don't give me some BS about being too busy. Early voting. Look into it. Get your voter registration in order before November, and drag your sorry behind to a polling place. You can vote on the weekend if you vote early. So do it. Or shush. Forever. Seriously. I'm typing this in my, "I mean business," tone. 

And now for some other hijinks, which I will mine from the Dallas Observer, who has done a phenomenal job of somehow finding the ugly underbelly of area politics.

How about we start with Eric Johnson and Terri Hodge. Even though several of the old guard said he wouldn't win, that Hodge deserved to win even though she was pokey-bound, something something democratic process precinct chairs should pick someone, he won. Without kissing a ring of any kind, I assume.

So there's that. Apparently people might just be tired of what is perceived to be business as usual in that neck of the woods. Maybe they're tired of seeing their leadership investigated by the FBI and paraded in front of judges. Maybe they remembered that Eric Johnson isn't some punk that moved in to run - he's one of them.

And then there's this brouhaha with Craig Watkins' campaign. First, I want to say that I have long admired Watkins' work to exonerate those unjustly convicted of crimes in Dallas County. But the man has a notoriously thin skin and an incredibly jerky knee. To survive in politics, he's going to need some armor and something for that patella tremor. 

But to whoever posted all those comments (apparently from an Internet connection belonging to Craig Watkins Attorney), lemme let you know something. IP addresses? Kinda trackable. For instance, I can frequently see who visits here. If their IP address is attached to a business, it generally shows up. So if you're gonna try to do your boss/friend/mentor/brother/son a favor, you should do it from a less traceable computer. 

And you can bash Sam Merten all you want, but I would've done the same thing. Sock puppetry is dishonest, and disingenuous. If Craig Watkins had salient information for Merten, he could've e-mailed or called. But to give yourself a bunch of aliases and cast around some rumors against Watkins' Republican opponent is dirty pool, verging on what the Nixon administration charmingly called "rat fucking."  

And to Craig Watkins: You can bellyache all you want about media scrutiny, but as my granny said, you must dance with the gal that brought ya. You can't court the media when you walk out of the courtroom with a newly exonerated person, but then duck them and cry that they're persecuting you when they ask you salient questions about your doings. It doesn't work that way. 

And like it or not, a man who associates his name with the word integrity by beginning the Convictions Integrity Unit in his department can and will be held to a higher standard. You associate yourself with the word, expect questions when people wonder if something's off. You want to stand for integrity, so you're going to have to deal with everything that comes with it.

So readers, what surprised you or didn't surprise you about yesterday's election results? Was Sam Merten wrong to reveal that IP address? Comment, already.

*Not a euphemism. I actually mean I baked actual muffins. In an actual oven. I'm not talking about babies or sex. Muffins. Swear.

Dear Oncor:

I understand it's been a very busy weekend for your company and its contractors. But something happened that bothers me, and it should bother you as well, because it affects the reputation of your company.

Our neighborhood has an active group of neighborhood watchers, and we tend to keep each other updated via e-mail and such.. As the outages in our neighborhood stretched past a day, and it got colder and colder, we started comparing notes.

And then I began hearing from people that when they came across an Oncor repairman out and about, they inquired about a possible ETA on our neighborhoods. Please understand - these people are educated folks who read the newspaper and keep up to date. They knew that there was upwards of 200,000 without power. They knew there would be a wait. They simply wanted an idea of how long that wait would be.

They were told, by either one of your crew or a contractor, that our neighborhood was "not important," and if we were lucky, we "might" get power by Sunday evening. 

I find this unconscionable. It's cold. People are feeling powerless. All they want is some kind of personal assurance that you do indeed know we are without power. To add to the issue, in several areas, you could see that across the street, they had power. You could go two blocks over, and it would be dark, but go past a four way stop, and there would be power. There is seemingly no rhyme or reason to how neighborhoods are brought back up. 

And then there is the automated system to report outages. It's frustrating, after 24 hours in a cold house, to call and get the exact same confirmation number and feel that you're no closer to a warm house than you were when you woke up Friday with no power. 

You would normally pay a consultant thousands for what I'm about to lay out for you for free:

1. The automated system is good for the first call. For one, you couldn't afford to hire enough people to hire the calls for 200,000 outages. It would be a waste of manpower. But that confirmation number should MEAN something. 

2. After a 24 hour period, a caller should be able to escalate the call when they put in their confirmation number. Right now, you get the same one every time you call, leaving you to feel this number is as useful as, pardon the somewhat salty phrase, tits on a boar.  At call number two, the customer should be able to enter their confirmation number and an option for an ETA or to talk to a live person.

3. After 36 hours, that confirmation number should get you to a live person. No matter what. You have people with small children. Elderly people on fixed incomes. Chronically ill who can't be in the cold. These people need to talk to a live human being.

But most of all, you need to teach your repairmen to be polite, and respectful. They should say, "I'm sorry, but I just go where I'm dispatched. I wish I could help you." People won't like it, but it's so much better than "not important."

I know you're the only game in town. But even the only game in town should be able to find some way of better dealing with the public. This is not it. 

It'll Be A Cold Day in Hell

So begins day 2 of our Laura Ingalls Hobo Experience. You see, during Dallas's 12. A BILLION inch snowfall, we lost power. And, as we all know, snow = cold, or in many cases, very, very cold. We tried mightily to brave it Friday, even heading to a movie and an unnecessarily long trip to Target. But when we arrived home after sark and there was STILL no power, we conceded defeat and bunked with friends. this morning, still no power. But a couple blocks in any direction from our abode and there are lights a plenty. This does make me wonder what exactly our local transformer is made of. If the power goes out in our neighborhood, you can be gauranteed we'll be the last ones to get it restored. Last summer, that meant 4 days of no electricity. I try to comfort myself by thinking that surely the people already being helped were just as cold as me, but still - it rankles to literally watch a transformer blow in Preston Hollow and then see two Oncor trucks head in that direction within seconds.

Before We Have One More UT-OU Game

Before we have another UT-OU game in the Cotton Bowl (the real one, not the Jerrydome usurper), I think we're all in agreement that DART and the State Fair need to figure out a better way than last year's debacle to get everyone there.

 I was just as stymied as everyone else as to what the solution to overcrowded trains full of angry fans opening up to platforms equally full of angry fans might be. And then, last weekend, the answer came to me, by way of Memphis.

Specifically, the Memphis Area Transit Authority. Now, I know DART has already said it has a plan for the 2010 game. But frankly? It's unwieldy and confusing. MATA came up with a plan to get fans to the Liberty Bowl efficiently (save a little signage issue that was cleared up with a phone call), and get them all back, too.

And it didn't involve any trains. None at all. Which, to me, is key.

Trains break down on tracks. If they get full, you can't get any more people on them. They can't circle back around quickly. 

But you know what is more flexible? A bus. More can be dispatched if necessary. They can circle back and pick up more passengers. This is what MATA did for the Liberty Bowl, which had an attendance of more than 62,000. Dedicated bus shuttles from specific pickup points in Germantown, downtown Memphis, northeast Memphis, south Memphis, etc., came at specific times. MATA workers were also out in cars driving by to assess the need, likely to make sure that extra buses got to places that needed them.

They were prepared for the influx. I'm guessing if fewer people had opted for the shuttle, those buses would've been sent back to the barn. If they needed more, more were available.

Now, I know this could be seen as negating the whole super-duper Green Line. But no, not really. Fairgoers can still take advantage of the Green line, which more may do if they know it's not going to be super-congested with UT/OU fans. Make the shuttles just for TU/OU ticket holders. Charge $5 round trip, like MATA did. Have a pickup in Plano, one in South Dallas, one in the Irving/Las Colinas area, etc. 

But after watching happy fans get on the shuttle to go to the Liberty Bowl, and coming out of the game to find them all lined up like soldiers waiting to take them back, I know this for certain: This solution can't be any worse than last year.

I'll Get Off My Lazy Ass, Soon ...

I promise. But in the meantime, I give you this picture of Pete Delkus and the Wintry Apocalypse. Presented without - ahem - comment. 

Tell me what you think it looks like.

 

If They Asked Me (And They Won't)

Rod Dreher is leaving the Dallas Morning News for Philly, where there are all manner of colorful people for him to hide from, and a whole new group of people who haven't heard him kvetch about brown people that come to his door for Halloween candy.

We'll miss him terribly. 

That being said, there is a right of center job to be had at the DMN. I'm sure they're busy hugging Mark Davis or something, but if I was Keven Ann Willey, I'd be looking at someone else who writes for them occasionally, and is much better informed, and probably very likely to rile up a whole lot of people just like Rod could.

Trey Garrison. Trey and I agree on a handful of things ideologically, but I will say this: The man knows his stuff. And he can write. And he admits when he's wrong, which keeps him from being punched a lot. 

So seriously. Trey. I know you have his number. Call him. If you do, I might even start reading the opinion section again. 

Wherein a Vaguely Nauseous Feeling Settles In

 

I will admit - I have been a fairly vocal critic of the Dallas Morning News, the paper of record for my city. But I've never really talked about why, but today - upon learning something that left me with that day-after-four-Mambo-Taxis feeling - I feel as if I must.

Every young journalist (well, at least in the past) dreams of moving up to a large metro daily. You toil in smaller cities. You even do some time in community journalism, at some small-town paper, but eventually, you think, you'll get that call-up. 

Think of it as slogging away in the farm team before Ron Washington calls you and asks you to come play short stop for the Rangers. 

Well, when I got that call, I was excited. I'd worked hard my entire career to work at a big daily. Granted, it was a editing a weekly section that everyone was mocking at the time, but to me, that was a challenge. If I could get my coverage area to buy in, if I could turn it around, I'd consider my venture a success.

The pay was infinitesimal. I wagered that with my savings I could survive a year. After that, I'd re-evaluate. Within a year, I had another job, won in part because of that DMN experience on my resume - and I'd like to think that I did accomplish my goal of making my section less mock-worthy.

It's no secret that the DMN - along with the rest of the industry - is hurting. As I've said before, I think that it has less to do with any perceived political leanings and more to do with the negligence when it came to being early adopters of the Web. If newspapers - singly or collectively - had worked harder in the beginning to monetize online news, perhaps this slump would be a different story all together. People at that time were used to paying for a newspaper to get their news, or waiting for the local television news - likely, they'd be comfortable with paying for news online, too. Instead, newspapers by and large treated the Internet as a fad for basement dwelling nerd herders. 

And now they flounder, trying to tread water in quicksand while simultaneously figuring out how to get online readers to pay for something they've been getting for free for decades. Some newspapers have been more successful than others at doing this. But since there's no cohesive effort to monetize sites, it's like running down to Wal-Mart for milk because it's cheaper than Target. Why pay for content from newspaper A when I can look at newspaper B and get that information?

But the Dallas Morning News' latest restructuring effort, where sales staff are named GM's of sections and oversee senior editors, makes me wholly uncomfortable. I frequently yell at the dead tree product as if it was a live person, but never have I had a visceral reaction to a decision like I had today. 

I literally wanted to puke. 

I know times are tough. I know newspapering appears to be a dying art. But this? This is rearranging deck chairs at the most obvious level. Instead of looking at the issues pulling the paper down, the powers that be create more bureaucracy, and more ways for their readers to question their ethics.

Instead of this, why not rid yourselves of employees that refuse to pick up more than one oar? You have a whole passel of Metro columnists that don't do much or any reporting. You have a bloated editorial staff that could be shuffled to cover things people care about. You can't decimate a newsroom without a gut check, and I do not think that gut check has been performed.

I worked for a guy who was in sales once. When it became obvious that he felt ad sales should dictate content,  I was eventually faced with three choices: Battle every day, give in, or quit.

I tried number one for a while, till it landed me in the hospital. After that, number three became my choice. 

I just hope that my former co-workers at the DMN aren't faced with the same three choices.

An Open Letter to the DMN Editorial Board:

Today we find on the pages of the Dallas Morning News that Mayor Tom Leppert is a bastion of ethics reform, and the soon-to-be-voted on rules were all his idea.

Let's be clear: Angela Hunt proposed it first. The mayor came in later, acted as if it was his idea, and then tried very hard to ram a watered-down version designed to placate voters through the machinery at City Hall.

So to praise Leppert for this nearly toothless bit of spun sugar is as believable as praising the Pope for the Bible. To rail against Hunt and say she was trying to stop the vote - when it's already been reported in your own paper that it was a) her idea and b) she merely wanted more teeth in the thing - is disingenuous at best and patently misleading. 

Why If You Are Rich, You're Gonna Need Some Caller ID

So it's like this. Bill Lively, president and CEO of the North Texas Super Bowl 45 Host Committee, has this insane amount of money to raise. Like, $30 million. 

And he and the rest of the committee members have been hitting the bricks for several months now. And they're really leaving no wealthy person unturned. Because $30 million is a lot of money. I know, because I have nowhere near $30 million. 

Now, before I talk about the Super Bowl, I need to tell a story. A few years ago, I was working at an IPTV company that was trying to branch out to cover sports (for some reason) and entertainment in addition to the stock market. I was charged with getting our newly-minted sports guy credentials with the various teams.